Anne!

Tue, 04 Apr 2006 04:42:40 GMT

Well, it was kinda cold that night she stood alone on a balcony. She could hear the cars roll by out on the 441, like waves crashin on the beach AND FOR ONE DESPERATE MOMENT THERE HE CREPT BACK IN HER MEMORY, GOD its so painful something so close is still so far out of reach.

JESUS

Mon, 20 Mar 2006 05:40:26 GMT

i am killing myself try to make decisions that deep down i know i'm never going to get to make

Wed, 01 Mar 2006 06:02:11 GMT

I feel like march is going to be the crappy, overly stressful month it always is, despite spring break. which. will probably be crappy. i think mostly im ready to see my only 4 friends but theyre all going to be stumbling around new orleans together. if you SAY something you need to ya know... oh maybe back it up? like, when samantha in american girls had to make that sampler that said "actions speak louder than words" take a page outta that book. but seriously why would it say that? either way, im going out on a limb and being straightforward, so if you SAY to someone that they are one of your only real friends at school and most people arent going to be in your life that long.. then my big question is: then why do you put them so far above me? i guess the assumption is that no matter how much you ignore me here, at home we will be bf4e. i guess that's a safe bet but like.. thats so CRAPPY. If i say, i don't want to lose my best friend and you say that won't happen, i feel better for the second but then im like how are you PREVENTING that. like.. the only thing is that im clingy. maybe this is only bothering me because im getting my period in like a day, that is what i tell myself even if its 28 days away. either way, i feel like everything is crashing down to my feet.. especially because theres a show on tlc this weekend about a family of little people. :\

She has trouble acting normal when she's nervous

Thu, 09 Feb 2006 06:13:29 GMT

I guess it's pretty selfish of me and CLEARLY i live in the past, but i can't help the feeling in my gut when something is about me. I've also always had trouble figuring out if someone's actually sincere or if theyre just being sarcastic. I don't know if it has to do with the fact that i'm easily annoyed, easily offended, almost impossible to please, petty, snobby, defensive and even though i know all this it comes out even more if someone isn't fascinated by me. That is the definition of self centered. What the hell? i'm not sure, but maybe it has something to do with the fact that up until july i hadn't really felt anything since i was in the Academy. Round Here is so stupidly ridiculously good.

Tue, 10 Jan 2006 06:35:04 GMT

i think my biggest problem is that i know every single detail of everything i want in my life for the next like... atleast 15 years, there is absolutely no confusion but i don't have and don't really see myself getting ANY of it

Fri, 23 Dec 2005 04:41:55 GMT

why am i so incabable of responding to something TOTALLY normal and acceptable in a normal acceptable rational way.

Thu, 17 Nov 2005 19:45:51 GMT

Write ten things in no particular order that make you happy and tag five others:

1. The beach
2. The Anniversary and/or Coldplay or the Counting Crows. and maybe something corporate...
3. nice kisses
4. pictures
5. driving
6. taking walks
7. Not another teen movie
8. nice phone conversations
9. Christmas
10. bunnies

I am TAGGING: Colleen AND julie white, nora keefe, mary dolan, and kate clayborne ;)

Tue, 15 Nov 2005 02:52:33 GMT

i have always been 102% okay and i should be right now and there is no reason for me to not be. i am done and i am not crying about this again.

Wed, 02 Nov 2005 22:28:15 GMT

TEN FIRSTS
First Best Friend: Laura Hamel
First Screen Name: Bboo4000
First Pet: Rosie and Posie the fish
First Piercing: Ears
First Crush: either peter lauring or kevin cox ;)
First Record: i dont remember
First Car: blue Mercury Tracer
First Love: ;)
First Stuffed Animal: i don't know but i still sleep with da the blanket

NINE LASTS
Last Alcoholic Beverage: gingeral rubinoff and a lemon on halloween >:-O
Last Car Ride: hmm... back to umass on saturday
Last Movie Saw: Saw 2
Last Phone Call: my mom today
Last CD Played: i dont really play cds here
Last Bubble Bath: like 2 years ago
Last time You Cried: lol ;)

EIGHT HAVE YOU EVERS
Have you ever dated one of your best friends: fdsfjsl
Have you ever been arrested? nope
Have you ever skinny dipped: yea
Have you ever been on TV: i dont think so
Have you ever kissed someone, and then regretted it? where should we start?
Have you ever had a sex dream about someone? probably
Have you ever had sex? yea

SEVEN THINGS YOU ARE WEARING
1. jeans
2. pink polo shirt
3. Black Sweatshirt
4. good purple bra
5. underwear
6. clogs
7. bracelet

SIX THINGS YOU'VE DONE TODAY
1. taken a test
2. gone to breakfast with Jackie
3. gone to the library with Nick
4. went to the gym with myself
5. mailed the ol' college application
6. showered

FIVE FAVORITE THINGS IN NO ORDER
1. The beach
2. swimming
3. nice kisses
4. Chinese food
5. pictures

FOUR PEOPLE YOU CAN TELL ALMOST ANYTHING TO*
1. Ashley
2. Kristin
3. Colleen
4. Nick

THREE CHOICES
1.Black or White: Black
2.Hot or Cold: hot
3.Chocolate or Vanilla: Chocolate, usually

TWO THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE
1. Everything
2. have a family

ONE THING YOU REGRET
1. nothing important

your heart had to let me go, now id rather die than be alone

Wed, 19 Oct 2005 19:39:14 GMT

lately i feel like every song was written for me, but it is somehow SO BAD

Thu, 06 Oct 2005 04:44:41 GMT

The fall is always me at my worst. I guess i didn't really think about it last year so i guess it just kind of blew over and i figured i was a normal person. because EVERYONE loves the fall. what the hell? i guess it comes down to that im always pissed off and im always upset about the same stupid thing with that one slight difference. every.year. i feel like i am the most typical person ever to everyone else. I DO KNOW WHY I GET UPSET ABOUT THINGS. i hate when people try to analyze me or figure out what whoever or whatever, which will remain nameless, is wrong. i know. i think that should be enough and i dont understand why it never is. the same shitty events repeat over and over in my life. different names, sometimes different places.. but there is ALWAYS the same stupid thing that is better than me. and it drives me crazy and it kills me. that stupid thing makes me feel so worthless and i think thats why i dont even like it. i dont understand how a PERSON how somebody who can genuinely care about you and be there for you and love you as much as they can is not good enough but something so crappy and fake and cold can replace them in one second. everyone lies to me and tells me how important i am to them, how i mean so much, but you know what i think it would just be a lot easier for me to believe it if the SLIGHTEST hint of effort was there. if im such a good friend, then why is someone a crappy friend to me. and this is not everyone, its just unfortunate that it controls my mood. i think i need a lot of time to myself and i think that i really really need anything different.

thank god i am going home friday

Wed, 05 Oct 2005 04:28:36 GMT

I don't know how it's become such a problem, keep you up all night if i try to remain calm. how can they ask why i feel so angry? do you see my problem if i never explain it? but then theres you, asking me how long, say something, it's takin me so long.

Sat, 01 Oct 2005 03:48:59 GMT

i hate college so stupid much and i really really really just want to go home

Tue, 06 Sep 2005 05:19:10 GMT

It takes someone very bold to proclaim a very high sense of morals, specifically against lying and then to blow that all apart. I think that it was bad enough that I was basically lied to, or atleast i didn't know the truth for longer than i should have.. but to outright LIE to your friends when all you preach about is honesty? that sucks. pretty much, that means nothing you've ever said has any meaning because the one thing that was alway put up on a pedastal, truth, has suddenly been knocked off. what am i supposed to belive from then? like i feel like one of the most important periods in my life means nothing because someone was so quick to lie so they looked like the person they wanted to be. i guess i've been kind of crappy too because some of the nicest people ive met i've spent the past like 6 months talking about and hating. but then again i didn't lie about who betrayed who? and baby this is the last honest love i'll ever give.

Fri, 26 Aug 2005 02:37:10 GMT

i hate when people are really fucking retarded

what if no poem or song could put right what i got wrong?

Fri, 19 Aug 2005 19:33:08 GMT

god damn youre typical

Thu, 07 Jul 2005 15:24:30 GMT

I can't be sure i'm truly another year older each year until i get the annual uti ;)

Sat, 18 Jun 2005 05:06:30 GMT

I know there is really no cause for concern because i'm doing great and whatnot, but still. you have to wonder in one tiny little part of your brain, what the fuck? i could and pretty much am basically doing the same old trash i was doing and nothing i'm thinking is really anything against anyone. but for the millionth time still you have to wonder what and why and where you fell short of whatever standard you thought you had met or you maybe didnt even know existed. maybe it's just late, and being up late drives me nuts and always has. maybe i should have done a lot more to get away and a lot more looking outside of everything i've ever known and thought of but STILL STILL STILL you have to wonder what the fuck.

i got a newwwwww belt today

Tue, 07 Jun 2005 04:06:42 GMT

So it's finally summer after that awful freezing tundra finally melted. which is great because summer is my favorite season, and this one has been fun it might actually compare to.... ashley knows what. anyways graduation is in like 5 minutes, im not really too excited nervous or anything. i hope its not too long though, everyones graduation parties are fun and i'm excited for the 9000 on saturday, and everyone is invited to mine sunday! lately everyone has been exceptionally nice and fun and im PRETTY SURE im getting my hair cut and dyed on wednesday. so theyll make it look nice for me for that night. if anyone has any suggestions on where to go, it would be greatly appreciated. my new goal is to be DIRECT and TO THE POINT on livejournal because i feel like i have a lot less to be vague about. FINALLY, lakes are actually a lot funner than i thought. ;)

and i meant every word i said, when i said that i loved you, i meant that i'd love you forever

Thu, 19 May 2005 18:35:00 GMT

I feel like this week has been very snippy snappy. My mood has been seriously lacking and i guess for really no reason except EVERYTHING bothers me. maybe i'm more concerned with things ending starting continuing or anything than i realized but i really am sorry because i know how mean i've been this week and it really is only because for some reason one word can make me flip out. why? nobody knowssss, but also everything changes around me and i never notice and maybe its because i am stuck so long ago? ;) ;) i somehow remember everything about 2 or 3 years ago but i feel like nothing happened to me, it was just something somebody told me and everything reminds me of something else and i can never just do something new. either way, i a) want to go to the maze, b) want to go the beach, c) want to go to wright's chicken farm, d) want to go to the drive-ins. :)

Thu, 03 Mar 2005 03:45:54 GMT

so my birthday's come and gone the big 1-8. ya know how it goes. i love nora because she made a myspace!! YES. so i went to visit kristie and my bbfl at good old bu it was fun even though we didnt go to the garment district. im pretty much just updating because nora asked me to and i love livejournal and myspace equally! :)

Sun, 23 Jan 2005 18:37:19 GMT

your first mistake is thinking that i actually care.

my birthday is a month from today

Tue, 18 Jan 2005 01:14:03 GMT

I hate being in the shower and the water gets cold, but i kind of like the way my eyes look after i take one. My mom annoys me and if i say nothings going on that means i don't want to tell you. I hate that i get in trouble because my stupid cat got lost... most teenagers drink and smoke pot it isn't a big deal and I guess I'm sorry but not that sorry. I guess that i just really want to go to college but what i REALLY want is girls night every night, but with those girls not new ones. I don't even really want that much, only the beach and I don't really think thats too much, and to just not say goodbye in a parking lot because that may have been the most pissed off i had ever been but i said i was sorry because i felt like i do now. I'm never saying goodbye to somebody like that again. fjsdlfjlsd it blows my mind what music can do to words.

Fri, 14 Jan 2005 03:30:16 GMT

i got into suffolk so now i am 2 for 2. and bu still doesnt have my sat scores. :(

this.song.is.so.so.so.good

Wed, 22 Dec 2004 03:05:19 GMT

You said I'm gonna buy this place and burn it down
I'm gonna put it six feet underground
Said I'm gonna buy this place and watch it fall
Stand here beside me baby in the crumbling walls

Oh I'm gonna buy this place and start a fire
Stand here until I fill all your heart's desires
Because I'm gonna buy this place and see it burn
And do back the things they did to you in return

Said I'm gonna buy a gun and start a war
If you can tell me something worth fighting for
Oh I'm gonna buy this place is what I said
Blame it upon a rush of blood to head

Honey, all the movements we're starting to make
See me crumble and fall on my face
And I know the mistakes that I made
See it all disappear without a trace
And they call as they beckon you on
They say start as you mean to go on

Start as you mean to go on

Said I'm gonna buy this place and see it go
Stand here beside me baby watch the orange glow
Some'll laugh, some just sit and cry
You just sit down then you wonder why

So I'm gonna buy a gun and start a war
If you can tell me something worth fighting for
And I'm gonna buy this place is what I said
Blame it upon a rush of blood to the head
To the head, oh

Honey, all the movements we're starting to make
See me crumble and fall on my face
And I know the mistakes that I made
See it all disappear without a trace
And they call as they beckon you on
They say start as you mean to go on

As you mean to go on, as you mean to go on

So meet me by the bridge
Oh meet me by the lake
When am I gonna see that pretty face again?
Meet me on the road
Meet me where I said
Blame it all upon a rush of blood to the head